


Into the red

by Schist



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crack, Ferrari - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:16:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3429146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schist/pseuds/Schist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian Vettel is new at Ferrari, and is presented with his new outfit</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the red

**Author's Note:**

> This is a joke - a silly story making slightly fun of drivers dressed head to toe in team clothes.

”Signore Vettel, welcome!”

”Please, call me Sebastian.”

The man with the strong Italian accent (or rather the latest in a succession of them) extended his hand, and Sebastian shook it and smiled. He had been shaking hands and smiling all day.

“Welcome to Ferrari” the man said. “I’m Maurizio Rivola, and I’m the Ferrari quartermaster. I will be in charge of your equipment, except for the car.”

He smiled.

“Nice to meet you” Sebastian said.

“I trust you’ve been given the grand tour?” Rivola asked and made a gesture that seemed to include all of the Ferrari facilities at Maranello.

“Yes. Several times, actually.”

“Excellent. Well, why don’t we get started? I’ve been given your size information and have prepared your clothes and other equipment. Let’s start with the racing overalls, yes?”

Sebastian’s stomach filled with butterflies. He watched in excited silence as Rivola took a couple of bright red racing overall from a closet and held one of them up. Ferrari red. It was beautiful, sparkling new and already with Sebastian’s name embroidered and all the sponsor patches sewn on. He looked at the Ferrari logo and felt something close to rapture.

Rivola put the overalls on the table next to him, and got a couple of sets of fireproof undergarments – long-sleeved shirts and long pants – out of the closet. He handed them to Sebastian. They were a creamy, luxurious white, and the thick soft fabric spoke of highest imaginable quality.

“And your shoes…”

Rivola put a pair of bright red racing shoes on the table.

“Your gloves… The helmet is still being painted, but you’ll have it tomorrow.”

“No problem.”

“Hats…”

Rivola took out a baseball cap and a knitted winter hat, both Ferrari red. Sebastian took the knitted hat and looked at it with a smile. They really had everything in Ferrari red.

“Underwear… “ Rivola said and handed Sebastian a packet of boxers.

He looked at them, fascinated that there was such a thing as Ferrari underwear. It made him want to laugh. These were not in fact red, but white with a red waistband, and the logo embroidered on the front. A package of bright red socks followed the boxers.

“Wow, you really have a lot of stuff” Sebastian said.

He had to put his garments on the table, it was getting too much to carry.

“T-shirts… dress shirts, ties, pants and shorts… “ Rivola said and handed him garment after garment. “These are for daily wear, not just on the track. We encourage you to wear the red as much as possible.”

“Oh… all right.”

“Suits… your sweaters, and your coats... Winter coat, summer coat, raincoat. Trainers, and training clothes of course, water bottle…”

The pile of red clothing on the table was starting to get alarmingly large, the abundance of bright red a little overwhelming.

“Scarves and balaclavas…and swimwear. Well, I think that’s all of the clothes” Rivola said.

“Wow, thank you.”

“Let’s move on to the other stuff” Rivola said and opened a cupboard. “Here’s your new mobile phone and laptop, with Ferrari cases of course. Your briefcase, sports bags, stationary and notebook…”

All that red was starting to get a bit nauseating.

“Here are your towels, and sheets…”

“Sheets?”

Sebastian thought at first he’d misheard, but Rivola actually put a pile of bright red bed sheets, with the Ferrari logo, on the table. 

“Table cloths… curtains…”

“Wait, what?”

RIvola looked at him as if wondering what the problem was.

“You’re joking” Sebastian said. “This is a prank, because I’m new?”

He smiled, but Rivola didn’t smile back.

“You think Ferrari is a joke?” he asked, something menacing in his voice.

“What? No, of course not. Just all this stuff… I mean, Ferrari curtains?”

He laughed, but stopped when he saw Rivola’s expression.

“You don’t like Ferrari things?” Rivola asked.

“Um… of course I do. But… curtains?”

“The china, furniture and the rest will be shipped to your address.”

“Wait, what?”

Rivola looked sternly at him.

“Signore Vettel” he said coolly. “Driving for Ferrari is not just a job.”

“No, but…”

“It’s a privilege, and a lifestyle. Here, we honor that lifestyle.”

“Of course, but…”

“And it’s in your contract.”

“It is?”

“Yes. You do not read fine print?”

“Of course. But I didn’t see anything about furniture or sheets…”

“ _Very_ fine print” Rivola said. “At the bottom.”

Sebastian started to feel insecure. He had read the whole contract, hadn’t he? He looked at the enormous pile of Ferrari red with growing anxiety. Surely they must be joking? But Rivola didn’t look like he was joking at all. He was staring at him, judging, waiting for him to say something.

Sebastian tried to think, and finally came to a decision.

“You know” he said. “Why don’t I go change into something more… red?”

He nodded at the clothes. Rivola’s grim face transformed into a big grin.

“An excellent idea, Signore Vettel. Excellent idea. Welcome to Ferrari.”

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
